World's Highest Concentration...

I am seriously considering becoming an Avon Lady. There must be some advantage that I just do not get. And that advantage is not a large customer base.

When I grew up, there was one Avon representative that would regularly come to our house. She was this little old lady and we always begged our mom to buy those little pins that had lip gloss inside of them. (In fact, I just found one of those a few months ago. And it still had lip gloss inside of it.) This little old lady also took wire hangers and made some sort of crochet polyester jacket thing for a special treat for your finest shirts, way before the closet organizing systems of the 2000s emerged. She was distinctly ahead of her time, but I digress.

Flash forward to today in eastern Montana. Our county had about 1,977 people living in it at the time of the 2000 census. Eliminate 411 non-makeup wearing people under the ages of 14 and that brings you 1,566 citizens. The laws of nature say that about 51% of a population is female and it is usually only females around here that wear make-up. (I'm not counting that guy at Pizza Hut who wears eyeliner, foundation, powder and lipstick. Every time I go there -- and that is not very often, but still --I catch myself tilting my head, jaw wide open, staring. Very embarrassing. But really, what does he expect? This is cowboy country, after all.)

Anyway, back to the 51% thing. This leaves us with 799 potential females to wear make-up. Take me out and that's 798. And then, if I look around my office, I would estimate that only 50% of the women (and this is being generous) wear make-up on a daily basis. Cows and old men just don't give a darn what your face looks like.

So 50% of 798 is 399 potential women customers. Potential. Most live below the poverty level and can't afford to buy facial products on a regular basis. The median family income around here hovers in the $25K to $30K range. Groceries, gas and you're done shopping for the vast majority of our population.

How many make-up representatives do you think it takes for this amount of people? One maybe? Perhaps even an outside rep from a different town? Oh no. It takes at least seven. Five from Avon, two from Mary Kay, probably one from Arbonne and who know what else lurks out there...

So there you have it. If you want some highly personalized service for your make-up purchases, won't you please come and be my neighbor? And if you're worried about not having anything to do out here in the country, there is at least one Pampered Chef, Scentsations, Taste of Home, Tupperware, or Creative Memories party every week. And the whole town is invited.