Tuesday, June 2, 2009

An Open Letter From My Checkbook

Oh, Dearest Emily,

We do this every year, you and I. All fall and winter you rave about the insanity of annual plants, about the waste that they cause on the earth. The endless watering to create a few short months of blooms, the expense of planting them only to watch them fade during day after day of 100 degree heat.
And I remind you that they are akin to throwing money in the air. Unlike vegetables and perennials, you have nothing left to show for your hard work at the end of the year. But still you rob the last check blank from me and sign your life away. And I, well I have nothing left to offer you for fall home improvements. You will have to forego several square feet of new office flooring because you could not avoid the call of the "bedding plants have arrived" signs around town. You have no backbone.
Not only did you buy petunies and geraniums and marigolds three weeks ago, now you have succumbed to the lure of the pansy. Let me correct myself.
Several pansies. And then there was the expense of twine to create a clever grid system to keep the cats out while the flowers fill in the spaces. I laugh at you on these June evenings where the temperatures reach 25 degrees and you foolishly have to cover the tender, weak annuals every night. And uncover them every morning. You and I both know that you don't have time for this.
I hear you talking to the pansies as though their lovely blooms resembled a face. And though I see how content their captivating colors make you, I tremble at the thought of where this might go when you get older. Next year, let's not do this. Perennials and vegetables only. Maybe one pack of pansies. But only one. Promise?
Your Checkbook (aka the "Fun Coupon" supplier)

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