Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The 5-8 Step Scientific Method

I've gotten myself into quite a pickle over my last little blog post. And I'm not talking about my covert trip to a central Pennsylvania restaurant or my analysis of our hospital stay.
No, I'm talking about the use of the scientific method to analyze my Autumn 2009 college homecoming tour. I just can't bring myself to do it. There were good intentions, you can be sure of that. I can recall (distantly) recitations of the seven steps of the scientific method. The many times I had to replicate them in projects, to pour them out on a piece of paper during an examination. Seven. There were seven steps. You can imagine my dismay when I discovered that there are now anywhere from five to eight steps that comprise the scientific method. Has our country really slipped in to such an educational stupor that we are so liberal with this most sacred of basic science principles?
However, all is not lost! We can still take a look at the cultural dichotomy that exists between the two schools I attended and faithfully returned to this fall. If you will recall, my first homecoming was for the sole purpose of a football game. At the second homecoming, there may have been a football game. I'm really not sure. They may have also played the University of Scranton. I have no idea. I also had no idea that Scranton had a university.
TAILGATING: Missoula: Snow, 18 degrees, wind, beer, outhouses for a tailgate, just outside the football stadium. Selinsgrove: Sunny, 60 degrees, tents, hor d'oevres, wine, kind of-sort of-not really close to the football stadium.
The golf carts! I remember the golf carts. And the dorm where I spent my freshman year. No real dichotomies here. Just good memories. I love this school.
Same for the stinky gingkos.
Beyond the tailgating episode, the most stark difference between these two schools is the liberalism. We thought we were so cool and progressive at Susquehanna! We recycled! And then I went to Missoula and they not only recycled, they also held peace rallies and sat in trees for days on end to protest logging and camped outside Yellowstone in the cold early spring to haze the bison back in to the park to save them from slaughter. Not that Selinsgrove has any bison nearby for hazing, but at least they still recycle.
Fond memories. I licked rocks in this room. Multiple times. And still failed the mineral exam.

I also visited my Zeta house while I was at homecoming and would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you 1999ers (and my sorority big sis) for coming back.
And to you 1999ers who didn't come back, I only have this to say: I'm glad you weren't at the reception because it meant more Yuengling and boxed wine for me. Maybe you'll come back in 2019. I hear they break out the bottles of real wine when we pass that big 4-0 mark and start donating some real money.

Understated liberal humor at a conservative school. Republican, liberal or neither: you have to laugh. You just have to.

No comments:

Post a Comment